day 19 - i don't like it when the rules change

when i arrived, my grandparents were informed of my medication. so i wouldn't miss a pill. they asked me what the medication was for, and i answered. they told me "oh, well if there's ever a night you can't sleep feel free to watch TV quietly into the early hours of the morning". not exactly like that, but they made it seem to me that i was not bound to the bedroom lights out at any specific time. which is nice, because being locked up in a bedroom when i can't sleep isn't any fun.

i have mild anxiety that shows itself as my inability to sleep, or my need to sleep all the time.

well, last night i was still awake at 3am and grandma came out with such an icy look on her face. she said "12 o'clock lights out, missy." in the rudest tone possible.
i don't react well to rude tones, i react much better to "hey could you-" because i am not a child. i don't need to be told to do anything, i make my own choices.
of course i didn't say anything, but i shut my computer and went into the bedroom.

the last time i checked my phone for the time before i finally fell asleep it was 7am.

i took a nap when i got back from the kennel, so all in all i got 6 hours of sleep. that's decent.

i'm still upset about this situation. more annoyed than upset.
i can't help it when i can't sleep. but sitting in the dark doesn't help, so why should i be tortured that way?

oh well. it can't be changed now.

work was slow as ever, i only made 6$ and some odd cents.
i took Carols car through the wash for her, she had chicken soup for lunch so i actually ate lunch. it was delicious.
i don't like it when it's slow, i like it much more when it's over crowded and i'm moving every second. when it's slow it's just... boring. i always thought i'd like a job where i just stood around and did nothing, but got paid for it. no~ i like being active i guess.
the kennel was slow too, i left early because i was so tired.
two dogs were taken, two cats came in while i was there.
they have a bald cat that is sick, i want it. it's so adorable. i'm so weird about what i find cute.

i would really like to be home, i'm excited about leaving. i like it here, but i don't like living this way either.
i can't live under other peoples rules happily. i have wants and needs that only i can provide for myself.

i'm really glad i was born with the mother i have, i realize how wonderful she is when i live with a different mother figure.

i love my grandma, i really do, she's a great person. but i love my mom more.